I'm not quitting writing books. No, that's not what I am talking about. A while back, I got a little distracted and decided to go back to school. I have a master's in public administration, and was feeling a bit underutilized at work and decided to just freaking get a PhD. It seemed like a good idea at the time. However.
I wanted to quit on day 1. I left the big orientation absolutely knowing in my soul that this wasn't it. The pressure they applied... the elitism... the time commitment. I drove home in horrid traffic vacillating between panic and numb sense of dread.
I had tried to get out of it, but every roadblock kept clearing. So despite my trepidation, I began. And I knew it wasn't right.
But I'm not a quitter. I loved the information. I hated the time commitment. I hated the assignments. I hated the traffic. I hated the all-nighters. I hated everything about it.
So. After 1 semester of a PhD program, I quit.
I told people shyly when they asked. And the more I said it out loud the more sure I was, that this time quitting was the right answer.
Everyone on the Internet says to be brave, do hard things, challenge yourself, live audaciously.
Who knew that sometimes that means listening to a small quiet voice that says, "This isn't the right thing,"? I didn't. But I do now.
I don't know that I'll ever go back to school. And I'm at total peace with that. I have a master's. I have a bachelor's. I'm good.
Quitting never seems like an option when you start things like this. We're supposed to push through and suffer. But. I decided I'd rather not waste that kind of time.
So. I walked away. And honestly, I'm pretty proud of that.
Comentarios