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  • Writer's pictureMorgan Hagey

Winter Camping is Dumb.

What is it with boys and boy things? This afternoon I sent my twelve year old out the door on a winter camp out. I do not know why. He was so excited, and I'm like...but it's cold? Like genuinely it's very much still winter here in New England. I understand the mechanics of it, knives, peeing on trees, eating junk, sleeping in a tent...but like, why? I understand that it's "fun", but I just can't fathom that as fun in my own brain. Freezing is not fun. Sleeping atop rocks is not fun. Bears ripping your tent to shreds while you shiver in your sleeping bag is not fun. Houses with locked doors is fun. Running water is fun. Flushing the loo is fun. I love a good s'more, especially with a Reese's instead of a Hershey bar. I love wood smoke and God's sky and the great out of doors. But I love it properly, during the regular hours when I'm supposed to be awake. But come night time, I'm done. And sleeping outside in the winter in the cold? I'm not cool with that. So why is this appealing to my man children? They'd all do it if I let them. I'm not really sure what genetic caveman tendency this is, but haven't we evolved better than this? Are we not more sapien than this? Haven't we, in all of the time we've had walking upright, without our knuckles dragging on the ground, realized that camping is unpleasant and WINTER camping is akin to insanity? Look, I'm not anti-camping. I've got friends that camp. My own child is off camping tonight! I support everyone's right to camp. However, do not expect me to understand it. Unless there are cabins, toilets and internet, I'm not interested. I realize I sound bratty, but whatever. My baby is voluntarily sleeping outside in the frozen tundra. I'm a worried and caring mother! I'm going to go watch my tv like a dignified person, and pray that my little boy scout returns tomorrow unscathed and with all his digits not frost bitten. Camping is ridiculous. Winter camping is downright ludicrous. That is all. 

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