Don't Tell Me How to Live My Life

February 6, 2018

Man, I struggle HARD when people tell me what to do. It could be considered a personality flaw, I'll give you that. I admit it. I can not just do something because someone says it's the way you should do it.

 

This is why I can not build IKEA furniture.  

 

Recipes? Suuuurrre I will try it kinda your way, recipe-writer, but I might just go off book a bit.

 

Even acting-- when I was in college, I loved improv, and struggled with script-work, and the formula our department subscribed to, in HOW to act. I didn't realize it then, because I didn't have a clue who I was, but looking back, that's why I struggled. It was too planned, too SCRIPTED.

 

I have a whole host of times and places where this tendency to rebel has gotten me into trouble. I inherited it from my father, and if I'm being TOTALLY honest, I am dang proud to be who I am, this part of me included.

 

However, it is also not great for things like... building a business. When I scroll through my Facebook, (because we all know Facebook is listening), I am inundated with sponsored posts and ads from other entrepreneurial businesses whose formula is "PROVEN" to get me the clients/revenue/money that I am so deserving of. "Just do it exactly how I did and take your business to the next level!".

 

Frankly, these folks, some of them anyway are snake oil salesmen, but a few here and there have a decent following of disciples who testify to the goodness and greatness of {insert random formula here}. I even spent $10 on a book that was recommended to me about how to launch your business. I got halfway through and had to give it up as a bad job. I quit, not, because the author was wrong--he makes large sums of money--but because it appears my tendency to resist people bossing me also means that I am incapable of doing what people tell me to do, even when they promise it'll make money.

 

The crappy part about all this is that marketing, sales, and all that jazz is studied by people, so it’s not like it’s all a lie. My own future sister in law has a degree in the stuff, one of my best friends markets for a living, I KNOW they know stuff that WORKS.

 

Yet here I am, in my own little corner, in my own little chair. In my personal delusions I really can be whatever I want to be.

 

(Who gets the reference??)

 

From my vantage point, I feel like, if what I have to say resonates, then people will read it. They will listen to the podcasts, they'll say, "YES! SPEAK!" and that will be that.

 

I don't fancy trying to convince people they need my stuff, my books, my (future) courses, or even the free things like blog posts or podcasts.

 

I also don't fancy speaking into a void. Talking to one's self does NOT create a robust library of posts or podcasts. Naturally, I want people to like me. I want them to listen, to read, and eventually spend a little money on these books that I am pouring my heart, soul and spirit into. But only because they WANT to, not because I used some marketing ploy to convince them that they should.

 

Arg. It is a catch-22 of epic proportions.

 

This blog post is pointless. I can't create an audience from nowhere, and I have zero interest in doing the things I need to, to get people to know who I am.

 

So, in the end, I shall say, "Don't tell me how to live my life!" and go on, not doing anything I'm supposed to… at least I am self-aware enough now to know that's why nothing ever works out.

 

 

 

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